Jane Austen vs. Predator

So...just last week, I talked about the upcoming zombie spoof of Jane Austen's seminal work, Pride and Prejudice, entitled Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. Now, I receive the following e-mail:

Elton John’s Rocket Pictures hopes to make the first Jane Austen adaptation to which men will drag their girlfriends. Will Clark is set to direct "Pride and Predator,” which veers from the traditional period costume drama when an alien crash lands and begins to butcher the mannered protags, who suddenly have more than marriage and inheritance to worry about.

Wow. Did all of Jane Austen's books suddenly become public domain so everyone's jumping on the parody bandwagon or is there a niche market for sci-fi twists on classic novels that I am unaware of? 'Cause I'll go ahead and admit I always thought an alien invasion would've been a nice addition to The Count of Monte Cristo, and why not have Jean Valjean on the run not only from the French police, but also from a killer cyborg from the future? Hollywood, I am waiting for your call.

Gatorade Corners the Elusive Nerd Market

Gatorade sells a lot of sports drinks to a lot of people, but apparently they must have been missing out on the demographic of geeks and nerds (a demographic that yours truly is a lifetime member of). How else to explain this insanely elaborate homage to Monty Python and the Holy Grail, entitled The Quest for G?


While the joke doesn't really work some of the time (how do you make fun of something that was funny to begin with?) there are some inspired moments, including the gang's showdown with dance group JabbaWockeez and their final battle with a fire-breathing poodle.

"Thanks, Santa. Also, I talk now."

It just wouldn't be Christmas if I didn't point you guys in the direction of McSweeney's, where they've posted excerpts from Ben Joseph's script for Alien vs. Predator Save Christmas. Spread the yuletide cheer with some good 'ol fashioned alien blasting!

Be Kind, Rewind Trailer!!

Thanks to Film Ick for the scoop. You can now download the trailer to Michel Gondry's latest flick, Be Kind, Rewind, in which two hapless video store clerks (Jack Black and Mos Def) are forced to stage their own versions of popular movies after Black mistakenly erases all of their videos. The film also features Danny Glover, Mia Farrow, Melonie Diaz, and Sigourney Weaver, not to mention some hilarious send-ups of movies like Driving Miss Daisy, Ghostbusters, RoboCop, and tons more.


How may we be of service? From left to right: Diaz, Black, Def.

NPR Rocks! Also, McSweeney's Guide to the Presidential Candidates

If you have not yet subscribed to NPR's All Songs Considered podcast, I advise you to do so right away. Not only can you listen to new music from the White Stripes, Feist, and others, but every other week, they have excellent-quality concerts by artists like Andrew Bird, Ben Gibbard, and Björk! We're talking the whole shebang, too. The Andrew Bird concert alone is an hour and 50 minutes long!

In other news, online literary website McSweeney's has, for your convenience, lists of The Pros and Cons of the Top 20 Democratic and Republican Candidates. Prime candidates from both lists include Hillary Clinton, Rudy Giuliani, Jimmy Carter, Ira Glass, Zombie Ronald Regan, Bigfoot, Robotic Super Bees, Optimus Prime, and my personal favorite in the Democrat list, Dick Cheney in an Elaborate Latex Disguise That Takes Five Hours to Apply.

Something Happening in Haiti

This is the funniest video to come out of the newly-created Onion News Network so far:


Breaking News: Something Happening In Haiti

300 Parody Trailer (PG Version)

After seeing 300 last week, half of my brain wanted to like it because it was incredible visually and had some of the most impressive set designs and fight sequences ever filmed. The other half of my brain wanted to laugh so hard at the terribly forced overacting, the ridiculous plot devices (I'm glad they waited 'till the last minute to reveal the giant hole that Persian messenger was about to be kicked into. If they had shown it in an earlier scene, people might've started saying "I wonder what that's for?"), and the totally unneccessary heavy metal soundtrack. Seriously, it felt like I was watching some YouTube "fan trailer" for the film when that crappy guitar riff started up.

Anyway, I'm thankful someone heard my cries for justice and created this hilarious "PG version" of the 300 trailer. I'll be shouting "This...is CAKE TOWN!" for many months to come, I can guarantee you.

Another Classic Onion Article

Focus Groups Hated It Right Up Until Guy's Head Got Cut Off

LOS ANGELES—A focus group of 150 people who saw this one movie, Fox Searchlight's modern adaptation of some Charles Dickens classic, were...