Another Classic Onion Article

Focus Groups Hated It Right Up Until Guy's Head Got Cut Off

LOS ANGELES—A focus group of 150 people who saw this one movie, Fox Searchlight's modern adaptation of some Charles Dickens classic, were...

New Sondre Lerche Video - "Phantom Punch"

Album of the same name will be out in January.

The Zippers Return?

Holy sh*t! Is this for real?

After years and years of heartbreak, disdain, cold shoulders, and wistful nostalgia, the Squirrel Nut Zippers are finally making their return to the stage, and at the Cat's Cradle! You may not know it, but the Zippers are one of my favorite bands of all time, and have been that way ever since 1998. I have all of their albums, including the Sold Out EP, which I picked up at one of their shows in Winston-Salem in 2000, when they were touring in support of their fourth, and ultimately their last, full-length album, Bedlam Ballroom.

At that time, they had already lost founding members Ken Mosher and Tom Maxwell, the latter of whom had written their only hit, "Hell," and even though the Zippers left me speechless when they performed that evening, it didn't look like the future would be a good one for the band. The swing revival had come to a close, the Zippers disbanded and went about their separate ways. Lead singer James Mathus formed the Mississippi blues group Knockdown Society, his then-wife Katharine Whalen started a solo career (they divorced in '04; her second album was just released this year), and Maxwell and Mosher teamed up as the duo, you guessed it, Maxwell/Mosher and toured a little, performing the songs they both had written for the Zippers. They also won a lawsuit against the rest of the band, claiming they were withholding royalties, forcing the Zippers to cough up $155,000. As a matter of fact, only Andrew Bird, who performed violin as a sort-of auxiliary member of the Zippers, went on to find success, wowing the music blogs with his sweeping 2005 album The Mysterious Production of Eggs.

But I guess they're back! Though according to this article from the News & Observer, it looks like the concert will be held for purely financial reasons. "We wouldn't be trying to re-form the group to make records and get on the radio," Whalen says. "It would be more about us surviving. The idea would be to do maybe three shows, probably just a couple of corporate gigs for some money. We'll be paying off that settlement for two more years, so it would be cool to play a few nights and just make that go away."

Still, it's better than nothing! See you at the Cradle on Feb. 8! (If only it would be held on the 16th, my 21st birthday. Then, I could get drunk, too!)

I'm Lovin' It

Stephen Heintz is quite possibly the funniest man on the Internet (and if he's not, he's second only to the Brothers Chaps). Case in point? Acid Zen Wonder Paint.

Anyway, he posted on his LiveJournal about being propositioned by a drunk prostitute outside a McDonald's (an everyday occurance, I'm sure).

All I'm saying is I wish I could write like that.

Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin - "Pangea" Video

The boys from Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin have put together a fun little video for their leadoff track on Broom, which you can still order from Polyvinyl for ten bucks! In either CD or vinyl!



I doubt it's intentional, but this video reminds me a lot of that Thrills video by that guy I mentioned a couple months ago.

See a Video, Make a Video

There's an awesome music video by Modular for the band The Soft Lightes. Cool use of color and stop-motion animation.

Also, if you're pissed off that you lost Stephen Colbert's Green Screen Challenge, you can help design the new Decemberists video! They've recorded themselves singing "O Valencia!" in front of a green screen. Now, it's up to you to put some crazy crap behind them! Good luck!

Kiwi!

I know YouTube and Drawn! have already featured it, but I wanted to show you guys this very funny, well-made computer animated short entitled Kiwi!:



One of the things that most computer animators don't seem to understand is they have to have an interesting story to go along with all those visuals. Pixar gets it, and so does Dony Permedi, who did this film.

Spotlight on Cucalorus: Three Movie Reviews in 75 Words or Less

Dirt Nap
(Director: D.B. Sweeney; Cast: John C. McGinley, Paul Hipp, D.B. Sweeney, Ed Harris, Moira Kelly, Pat Hingle, Janet Jones, Mark Moses, Rex Linn, Ned Bellamy, Vanna White; dirtnapmovie.com)

Road movies always have their share of clichés and obligatory scenes. Dirt Nap takes those preconceived notions and turns them on their collective head. When three middle-aged slackers decide to take a trip to Florida for a football game, their whole world gets turned around, and their lifelong friendship is placed under close scrutiny. A fine cast all around, and an especially fascinating cameo appearance by Ed Harris as an amputee carnival owner.

Old Joy
(Director/Writer/Editor: Kelly Reichardt; Co-Writer: Jonathan Raymond; Composer: Yo La Tengo; Cast: Will Oldham, Daniel London)

Quiet, provocative filmmaking. People think a movie like this should be boring, but it is anything but. Two men who haven’t seen each other in years spontaneously decide to take a trip to the mountain springs of Oregon. While no major revelations are made, the characters re-evaluate their relationship, and start to realize just how far they’ve come in the many years they’ve known one another. Beautiful cinematography, gorgeous score by Yo La Tengo.

Shortbus
(Writer/Director: John Cameron Mitchell; Original Score: Yo La Tengo; Cast: Sook-Yin Lee, Paul Dawson, Lindasy Beamish, PJ DeBoy, Raphael Barker, Peter Stickles; shortbusthemovie.com)

A sexual revolution has begun, and writer/director John Cameron Mitchell is its muse. From a story developed by his cast, Mitchell gives us sex as a joyous combination, not only of body, but of spirit. Hearts are broken and mended again. New sexual heights are reached. All who enter the Shortbus salon are freed from the depression and anxiety of a post-9/11 New York City. Once again, Yo La Tengo delivers the perfect musical accompaniment.

An excellent review of Shortbus may be found here.

Spotlight on Cucalorus: 13 Tzameti

The first narrative I've seen at Cucalorus, and also the most unsettling. In this French film, a poor roofer stumbles across a drug addict's plan to make some big money fast. Fortunately, the addict overdoses before he has the chance to collect, and the roofer is left with a striped envelope containing a train ticket and a hotel reservation. What follows is a sick and twisted multi-player game, where the winner is handsomely rewarded, but the losers...well, you can probably guess what happens to them:



Even though an American remake is already in the works (of course), I'm really glad I saw the original first. I'm sure any American studio would jump at the chance to jazz up 13 Tzameti's ridiculously simple, but riveting storyline. The only problem is the story needs no jazzing up. The film's low-budget, black-and-white production only adds to the look of the film's dark and dingy locations, especially the rooms in which the game takes place, where a single light bulb is the only indicator of whether you will live...or die.

Spotlight on Cucalorus: Al Franken: God Spoke

Day 2 of Cucalorus, and the documentaries keep on coming. The Al Franken biopic God Spoke was definitely more lighthearted fare compared to last night's proceedings, but it was still a very fun and very entertaining movie.

When Saturday Night Live alum Al Franken became the target of right-wing radio and TV personalities (maybe it's 'cause he named his first book Rush Limbaugh is a Big, Fat Idiot?), it set off an endless string of debates and yelling contests, usually between Franken and any combination of Sean Hannity, Ann Coulter, and Bill O'Reilly. Especially Bill O'Reilly. After O'Reilly and Fox News raised a ruckus over what they believed to be copyright infringement (Fox claimed a trademark on the words "fair and balanced," which were part of the title of Franken's new book), the courts threw out the case and Franken laughed all the way to the bank as the free publicity shot his book, Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them, to the top of the Amazon.com Best Sellers list.

The film begins with the release of Franken's book and the backlash it received, follows Franken as he haphazardly jumpstarts the first liberal radio station, Air America Radio (which, sadly, has since declared bankruptcy), and as he follows the Kerry campaign during the election of 2004. It's hard to watch the scenes where Franken seems so optimistic about Kerry's certain victory, knowing what surely lies ahead. And filmmakers Nick Doob and Chris Hegedus pull no punches. They show Franken's meltdown after Bush's re-election, ultimately leading to his decision to possibly run for Senate in Minnesota during the 2008 elections.



What I enjoyed most about this film is what I enjoy most about Franken: his sense of humor. He can always turn any depressing political situation into a scathing, satirical one-liner. Even when he's calling out radio personality Michael Medved or going one-on-one with Sean Hannity, he keeps his cool and lets the facts do the talking. Especially hilarious are his bits from Saturday Night Live, notably one in which Franken, as his Stuart Smalley character, consoles a depressed, post-election Al Gore. Also worth mentioning are his USO appearances in Iraq, one of which appears in the film. Franken, dressed as Saddam Hussein, tries to hit on JAG actress Karri Turner. Unfortunately, not much more of his USO tour is shown in the film, which is sad, because if his article about the tour, "Tearaway Burkas and Tinplate Menorahs," is any indication, there's a lot of extra material that's a whole lot funnier. I highly recommend anyone interested in more information on Franken to read that article, which can be found in the 2005 edition of The Best American Nonrequired Reading.

Overall, a solid documentary about a very funny man. For more information on the film, visit www.godspokefilm.com.

Spotlight on Cucalorus: The Trials of Darryl Hunt

Today marks the kickoff of Wilmington, North Carolina's premier independent film festival, Cucalorus, now in its twelfth year. The film that opened this year's festivities was the documentary feature The Trials of Darryl Hunt, and I can already tell you, it's going to be very, very hard to top this picture in terms of emotional impact from an audience.

The film relays the story of one Darryl Hunt, a 19-year-old black man who, in 1984, was convicted of raping and murdering a white woman in Winston-Salem, North Carolina. What followed were ten sad and horrifying years of judicial corruption, police incompetence, and outright bigotry, in a scandal that, if it hasn't yet rocked the judicial system of North Carolina to its very core, this film most certainly will. Even after DNA evidence proved Hunt's innocence in 1994, he still remained in prison for an additional ten years, due to the district attorney's stubborn belief that the DNA evidence was either contaminated or inconclusive, even though there was no evidence that either was true. Finally, on Christmas Eve of 2003, Darryl Hunt was released from prison and now walks free. The state gave him compensation for their wrongheadedness, but no amount of money can take back the 19 years of wrongful imprisonment this man has faced.

The Trials of Darryl Hunt is most certainly the best documentary I have seen all year. Yes, better than An Inconvenient Truth and Wordplay. I have always believed that, when the story and its people are handled with the proper respect and admiration, a documentary can be ten times more powerful than any narrative film could ever be. The only reason this film won't be nominated for a Best Documentary Feature Oscar is because it has not enjoyed even a limited release in select cities, a requirement that must be fulfilled before the end of the year. The general public is stuck with having to search far and wide for any film festival where this production is being screened. It's worth the time to look, believe me.

However, my screening of the film was unique, in that Darryl Hunt himself, as well as defense attorney Mark Rabil were present to answer any questions following the screening. The two did not appear until after the screening, prompting one person to ask if Hunt has the strength to view this film again. "No, I don't think I have it in me," he exclaimed. Countless questions were asked, emotions were charged. Hunt took questions asking for his future plans, his feelings toward the whole debacle, and Rabil answered questions relating to the litigation and specifics of the case, which Rabil had worked on since the court appointed him to the case in 1984. One interesting question was why there is no accountability when it comes to district attorney's making cases on fraudulent evidence or withholding evidence altogether, something that Hunt and Rabil experienced during both times their case went to trial (the second trial was in 1990). Rabil said that the three most important things people can do are to vote, serve in a jury, and support causes like Hunt's, who created the Darryl Hunt Project for Freedom and Justice to help individuals, like him, who have been wrongfully accused of crimes, and to educate the public about flaws in the justice system.

Out of all of this, what struck me the most was how kind and pleasant Hunt seemed. Even while district attorneys were frothing at the mouth, begging juries to send down a life sentence, Hunt's face remained stoic. A man with a strong faith in God, as well as a strong faith in his peers, his friends, and his family. Surely, no stronger man has lived.

The Trials of Darryl Hunt did make the Academy's shortlist for Best Documentary Feature, but ultimately was not nominated for the award, in favor of films focusing on more current events, such as global warming and Iraq.

The film will, however, be shown on HBO in April 2007.

Get the Vote Out!

Despite harsh weather conditions, an increasingly upset stomach, and the fact that I couldn't find my polling place, I was still able to get my vote cast in this year's midterm elections. If you haven't yet, please don't let your voice go unheard!! And then, once you've voted, tune in to Comedy Central's "Daily Show Midterm Midtacular" at 11 PM. It'll be broadcast live and will merge both "The Daily Show" and "The Colbert Report" into one pseudojournalistic behemoth!!

P.S. Didja see Stewart and Colbert on the cover of Rolling Stone? Classic.

Some Useful Information

I have received some impertinent information from reliable intelligence reports, leading me to believe that literary genius John Hodgman will be making his triumphant return as The Daily Show's resident expert tonight at 11 P.M. on Comedy Central.

In other news...

Saw III = Bad
The Prestige = Good

The reason? Bowie.