Your Ill-Informed Guide to Summer Movies

It's been a while since I've done a good, ol' fashioned blog post, and after reading the latest issue of Wilmington's alternative newspaper, Encore, I feel I must write something. This issue's feature, "On the Heels of Blockbuster Season," breaks down this summer's biggest flicks and lets you know which ones are worth seeing. Well, I'm going to one-up them by breaking down the same movies and giving equal space to why they are going to be awesome, as well as why they might suck. Let's begin:

Spider-Man 3 (May 4)
Tobey Maguire, Kirsten Dunst, Thomas Haden Church, Topher Grace; dir. Sam Raimi

Why It's Awesome: Raimi's first Spider-Man film blew expectations out of the water and became one of the most successful superhero films since the first X-Men movie, while Spider-Man 2 proved to be a superior sequel, with critics lauding it as the best superhero film since the original Superman. Now, Raimi is back with his multi-million dollar third episode. Familiar faces are back, including the always wonderful supporting cast of Rosemary Harris, J.K. Simmons, and another funny cameo by Bruce Campbell, and this time, they are joined by the talented Thomas Haden Church, Topher Grace, and Bryce Dallas Howard. Did I mention Venom is in this one?

Why It Could Suck: The relationship between Maguire and Dunst has been believable, but the dialogue between the two has always been borderline sappy and contrived. Luckily, there's plenty of action and suspense to overshadow the script's relatively small amount of weaknesses, but with this third episode carrying a running time longer than both previous films (140 min.), the thrills may start wearing thin.

28 Weeks Later (May 11)
Robert Carlyle, Rose Byrne, Lopez-Lavigne, Rowan Joffe; dir. Juan Carlos Fresnadillo (yeah, I've never heard of any of these people, either)

Why It's Awesome: Danny Boyle has always been good at hopping from genre to genre, and his digitally-shot zombie flick, 28 Days Later, was not only one of the best horror films of the year, it also made audiences realize that Britain was a viable producer of bona-fide scares, a fact confirmed by the appearance of the comedy/horror flick Shaun of the Dead two years later. For the sequel, Boyle is executive producer, and relative newcomer Juan Carlos Fresnadillo is filling the director's chair. A British movie with a Spanish filmmaker? Hey, it worked for Children of Men.

Why It Could Suck: The territory 28 Weeks Later covers may end up being all too familiar, i.e. boring. If there's one thing zombie franchises find harder to do is maintain an element of surprise. Since the storyline seemed to have already been spelt out for us in the trailer, the movie's gonna have to have well-written dialogue and engaging characters to hold our interest, something most horror sequels sadly lack.

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End (May 25)
Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightley, Chow Yun-Fat, Geoffrey Rush; dir. Gore Verbinski

Why It's Awesome: Last year's Dead Man's Chest was a breathtaking action picture, one truly worthy of the word "epic." Amazing visuals, engaging characters (including Bill Nighy as Davy Jones, a sort of real-life Squidward), and genuinely interesting dialogue helped make this seemingly unnecessary sequel essential viewing for anyone looking for a great popcorn movie. The final episode of the trilogy promises to be more of the same, with everyone's favorite bad guy Geoffrey Rush back from the dead (how convenient!), along with the addition of Chow Yun-Fat and the obligatory cast of thousands. Did I mention Johnny Depp?

Why It Could Suck: Let's face it. History has not been kind to the third part of a movie trilogy. You only need to say Matrix Revolutions or Return of the Jedi to know that studios don't always save the best for last. Plus, there were so many unresolved conflicts in Dead Man's Chest that Verbinski will have to use at least two hours of the film to resolve 'em all. Plus, with Mr. Rush and Mr. Yun-Fat on board, that means there'll be even MORE subplots!

-------------------------------------------
To tell you the truth, I'm going to go ahead and stop there. The reason is because, as always, The Onion beat me to the punch, and delivered their much-funnier Summer Movie Preview 2007. C'est la vie.