Ask Good Questions

For a little over a decade, there's been a disturbing trend in the advertising world that I like to call "Try Again Later" advertising. This is the practice of putting on, in public, a notice that is cryptic and vague as to what is being sold, and no further information is revealed until later in the marketing scheme. Example: When the Swiffer came out, it was preceded by a slew of commercials promising a "new breakthrough in cleaning technology." The commercials never told you what the product was, or even what it looked like. It just said it was "coming soon." You would have to return to that channel at a later time (usually, a couple weeks later) to see a follow-up commercial explaining what, exactly, the first commercial was all about. Thus, the phrase "Try Again Later."

The most recent victim of "Try Again Later" advertising (from here on in, referred to as "TAL advertising") is Cartoon Network, a channel I grew up with and now adore for its Adult Swim block of shows (most specifically, Venture Bros.). Their regular programming has undergone a new marketing campaign where commercial breaks are bookended by clips of the most obscure jokes from their respective TV shows, usually followed by a split-second flash of the Cartoon Network logo and the slogan "Yes." (which is such a overtly ridiculous and irrelevant slogan that if you think about it too long, your head might explode). Anyway, the network tried a similar campaign on billboards, where they would simply show the obscure quote from the cartoon and not show who said it or even what the billboard was advertising. This led to a ridiculous amount of confusion on all sides and gave me the unfortunate fate of having to drive by a solid red billboard with the words "I pooted." in bright yellow text every time I had to drive back to college. Eventually, the network sent the billboard guys back out to finish the ads, by adding a drawing of the character who said the line (in my example, Cheese from "Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends") and the Cartoon Network logo.

Those last two paragraphs are merely a preface for my main argument and that is this: COLLEGE STUDENTS, STOP TRYING TO EMULATE THIS ADVERTISING PRACTICE. It's not a very good practice for the professionals to be doing anyway, and college students have proven time and time again that they're even worse at it. TAL advertising consists of two phases: (1) the cryptic, vague and confusing initial advertisements, usually posted in a place where everyone can see them repeatedly and where they can be easily replaced by the ads in phase (2) which are the ads that explain what the first ads were all about in addition to plugging whatever product/service/TV show/etc. they intended.

For some reason, when college students attempt TAL advertising, they seem to leave out phase two of their marketing plan, obviously the most important phase. Or they put the explanatory ads in such an obscure place that no one reads them and no one ever figures out what the phase one ads were all about. This happened last year when a bunch of sidewalk chalk ads spread out all over campus proposed the following piece of advice: "Ask her." That's it. Just those two words. "Ask her?" Who's her? Ask her about what, in particular? Should I ask her in passing or be upfront about it? It racked my brain for weeks at a time as I tried to figure out what on earth I should be asking, and to what unfortunate female I should be querying. No further information was provided as to the nature of these ads (big surprise), and it wasn't until much later in the semester that I overheard that the campaign was part of my campus' Health Services department's effort to get people tested for STDs. At least, that was the rumor. I will never know for certain what "Ask her" meant, but I am almost certain it was a failed attempt at emulating TAL advertising.

This year, the same thing is cropping up again. Hundreds of bumper sticker-sized signs have appeared all over campus with the simple plea to "Ask good questions." They've also appeared in really annoying places, too, like inside the elevator of my apartment building and in the stairwells of various campus buildings, so you can't avoid them. What do they mean? Who should I be asking good questions to? What defines a "good question"? I'll probably never know as yet another incompetent campus organization neglects phase two of their TAL marketing operation. Meanwhile, all that paper and all that sidewalk chalk was spent for naught. What a waste.

Here's a good question: Why don't advertisements simply be upfront about what it is, exactly, that they are advertising so people will be more likely to follow the ads instructions and use/buy/watch whatever product/service/TV show they are advertising?