Ever wish SuperSoaker would make a water gun that simulates masturbation? Well...

As always, Mike and Chad from Yewknee are on top of things with this slightly disturbing new toy from Hasbro.

It's called the Oozinator, and in addition to firing jets of water, it also fires "globs of gooey bio-ooze!" And if you didn't think that was creepy enough, just take a look at the commercial:



Why not just call it the Super Jizzinator? I mean, look at the damn thing. If the alien in Alien had a penis, that's what it would look like.

Warning: Major pumping required.