Movie Reviews Written as Comment Cards for a Test Screening

My Super Ex-Girlfriend:

I found this movie to be harmless fun. Nothing groundbreaking or brilliant, just a simple, fun summer comedy. Uma Thurman finally breaks the habit of giving terrible performances for any director but Tarantino, and Luke Wilson proves he's a funny actor as long as he doesn't try to act funny. I don't know what Wanda Sykes was doing in the film, since her character wasn't utilized at all, but Rainn Wilson was a scream. Just get rid of that horrid animation that plays during the end credits, as well as the terrible Top 40 soundtrack, and you've got something.

P.S.: I'm sure it must surprise you, Ivan Reitman, to have a son that turned out a much better film (Thank You for Smoking).

Lady in the Water:

Shyamalan, you are an anomaly in the filmmaking world. People call you the next Hitchcock, but you and I both know you're nothing of the sort. Rather, you're the guy that brings back the idea of being scared of what you can't see (or what you can't see clearly). And for the most part, it's paid off. It certainly helped that Signs also carried a fascinating subplot of a man severely questioning his faith. It didn't help that you pinned all your hopes of making The Village a success by having a ludicrous and, frankly, obvious "surprise" ending. Thankfully, Lady in the Water feels like a direct response to all the flak you got for The Village. It has no surprise ending (surprise!), a totally implausible story (which I had no problems with), a great sense of humor, and Bob Balaban, who's role appears to be that of a mean, spiteful movie critic, who receives his just desserts at the film's coda. All in all, a fun experience and entirely original film from M. Night, though it certainly won't be winning you any new fans.